Tired at work? =(

Research has shown that the most common time for energy slumps is 2.16 in the afternoon, when workers feel drained and unable to concentrate.

Desk stretches

Link your hands, push your arms out in front of you and then raise them above your head.
Lift your shoulders up towards your ears and gently roll them backwards.
Extend your legs out in front of you and point and flex your toes.
Hug your knees, one at a time, in towards your chest.
Before you reach for the chocolate, try a few of these energy boosters instead.

Stretches

Hunching over a computer all day can leave you tired and aching. Take regular breaks, at least once an hour: get up, move around and stretch your legs. A few deep breaths and stretches will boost your circulation and also help to wake you up.

Mid-afternoon snacks

The energy boost of a sugary snack wears off quickly. instead, have fresh fruit, dried fruit or nuts, which are a healthy and long-lasting source of energy. If you must have chocolate, choose a few squares of good-quality plain chocolate. It contains less sugar and the richness means you need less to feel satisfied.

Drink water

If you don’t drink enough water you'll feel sleepy, be less able to concentrate and may get headaches. When you feel hungry you're often actually thirsty. Don’t wait to feel thirsty to have a drink, as by then you're already dehydrated. Keep a filled bottle of water on your desk, so that you're more likely to drink regularly, and can see if you're drinking enough.

Acupressure points

Touching acupressure points stimulates the nerves and redistributes your energy.
The most effective point is in the middle of the top of your head. Tapping it gently for two or three minutes will leave you feeling energised.
Rub your hands together briskly until they're warm, then gently rub your temples in a circular motion. For extra effect add some essential oil or tiger balm to your fingers first.

Changing work focus

When your work pile seems endless it can be easy to lose enthusiasm and slip into an energy slump. Breaking your 'to do' list into small, manageable tasks and taking a short break after each one will help you stay focused. Leave the simple jobs for early afternoon so you don’t have to concentrate too hard.


Have a good day~!

Drugs and Bank

3 guys wanted to rob a bank. Now each of them has a drug of choice.

Guy 1 is into heroin

So he shoots up, looks at his 2 mates and says "guys I have a plan." " We fly into the bank, huver over the counter all the way back to the safe the take the safe and fly back out undetected."

Guy 2 is into cocaine

He takes a sniff, looks at his 2 mates and says "guys I have another plan." "We enter the bank fucken shoot everyone then go to the safe blow it up, get the money. We then go out shoot everyone and get the fuck away."

Guy 3 is into weed.

He takes a few puffs, sits down, and looks at his 2 mates.

He then says "Guys I like your plan, aaaand I like your plan."

*Can we do it tomorrow?"

Hehe =P

Taking a Wowan to Bed

What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68, and 78?

At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 -- You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!

At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???

Cute sofa!

 

 

He looks very happy! Like laying on real women feet ^^

Get a Tour Guide!

Going somewhere but do not know how?

You've googled it, got all the brochures and guidebooks and interrogated everyone who's been to your travel destination, so why u need a tour guide?

Here's some tips:

1. No worries of getting lost. If you are not adventurous type of person, this is really important. Your tour guide knows the local district like the back of his hand. Plus, he'll probably provide transportation, making a more convenient reservation and comfortable trip.
2. Worth seeing. If pressed for time, your tour guide should be able to give you a priority list on places to visit. They're hoping you'll recommend them to your friends for future trips, so they'll do their best to show you a good places.
3. Better bargaining power. Local markets usually have two prices, one for the local, and one for tourist. A good tour guide must know how to negotiate for the prices at bazaar so that you pay closer to the local price.
4. Well-treated. Guides with good rapport with people in the industry usually strike up an agreement with business owners to give special discounts in exchange for steady stream of business.
5. Understand local custom better. You do not have to worry about offending the locals by first asking your tour guide on what's appropriate or not.
   

Computer Science Student

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

=p

Computer Jokes

Windows

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen”.

The surprised salesman replies: - “But madam, computers do not have curtains…”.

And the blonde said: - “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”

Blonde n Thermos

A blonde is in a store and picks up a thermos. She asks the clerk “What’s this do?” The clerk replies, “It’s a Thermos, it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” She looks at it and says, “That’s genius, I’ll take it.”

Later on at work and her supervisor passes her desk and sees the thermos. “What’s this he asks?” The blonde replies, “Its a thermos, it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”

The supervisor says, “I mean what’s in it?”

She replies, “Some soup and a popcicle.”

Error Message Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

Now, he works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

Sleep Tite~

Back-up!

500 times

A teacher ask a student to write "I will not throw paper airplanes in class" 500 times on the whiteboard. So the student come forward and write...

A blonde and Bus 54

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions.

"Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"

The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the bus number 54. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he droves off.

Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde was still waiting at the same bus stop.

The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, did I said to wait here for the bus number 54? That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"

The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!"

Funeral Ads

This is a very funny story about an old lady whose husband died and she want to put an ad in the paper about his funeral.

The local-newspaper-funeral-notice telephone operator received a phone call. A woman on the other end asked, "How much do funeral notices cost?"

"$5.00 per word, Ma'am", came the response.

"Good, do you have a paper and pencil handy?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"OK, write this: 'Fred dead.'"

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I forgot to tell you there's a five-word minimum."

"Hmmph", came the reply, "You certainly did forget to tell me that."
A moment of silence. "Got your pencil and paper?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"OK, print this: 'Fred dead, Cadillac for sale.' "

Wrong Address

An Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago went for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when he was typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here

An Elavator

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, especially two shiny walls that could move apart, and back together again.

The boy asked his father, "What is this father?"

The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady, limping slightly, and with a cane, slowly walks up to the moving walls, and presses a button. The walls opened, and the lady walks between them, into a small room. The walls closed.

The boy and his father watched as small circles of lights with numbers above the wall light up. They continued to watch the circles light up, in reverse direction now. The walls opened up again, and a beautiful young blonde stepped out...

The father said to his son, "GO GET YOUR MOTHER!!!"

Computer Error

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired: "An ID ten T error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?"

The computer guy grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No," I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote out ......

I D 1 0 T